where does the good go?
October 13, 2016 - 9:36 AM
i wasn't prepared for the last year. i never in a million years thought that i would be in this boat,
up shit creek,
without a paddle.
yet here i am. or whats left. fragments of me in this chair. i should have put myself back together, i should have used that thread and needle. but what i wanted was to feel it. that tender, raw bite mark that life took from me. that pain that i couldn't numb was so dark, so twisted and so real, like nothing i have ever experienced before. but it was the first real thing that i had felt in so many years. i cultivated it, i harvested that pain and made it mine. it was beautiful and it hurt like hell.
its been over a year now, just a few days past actually. and that hurt is still there, as if it were yesterday. and now finally, i find myself exhausted from it. those shadow thoughts that circulate like storm clouds in my head. i just want to sleep forever, i just want it to end, this feeling.
i am forever changed.
i dont even feel like me anymore.
'where do you go? with your broken heart in tow?
what do you do, with the left over you?'
how many stages of grief are there?
<< nothing - now >>