February 16, 2019 - 9:14 PM

everything stays the same
there was a girl that i used to be that absolutely hated working directly with people. terrified of bigger groups of people. strangers in a room.
there was a girl that I used to be that couldn't bear the thought of taking a bigger step then what was necessary. I couldn't stand it, couldn't do, didn't want to.
i used to be so small.
and angry.
that girl i used to be quietly asked me on my drive home "what the fuck happened?"
because who I am is almost identical to who I was. yet not really.
so i indulged in that thought,
I have seen some pretty terrible losses. Complete and devastating. and not just mine but those close to me. what do you do when your world is taking away from you? how do you process magnitudes of disbelief?
you travel to a dark side and make friends with your demons there. or maybe you rise from the dark side, maybe we were there already. the similarity being that we all have spent time there, different as it is for each of us.

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