and the days keep passing and i have nothing to say. still. lifeless and confused, i feel like i'm loosing touch with everyone.
and it hurts to know that they don't trust me when i say no. it's always a lie of mine, while you lie to yourself to say that you're the right person.
but now, there's nothing left of what i felt. he doesn't now, i bet he doesn't even realize. i wouldn't really care if only he hadn't told me he wanted to die. but i guess i'll move one. just like airballoons and humming birds.
there's always a lengthy aftermath left in my mind.
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